Funny Philosophy Jokes
Hope you enjoy this selection of funny philosophy jokes:
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The First law of Philosophy: For every philosopher, there exists an equal and opposite philosopher.
The Second Law of Philosophy: They’re both wrong.
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How many philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?
“Hmmm… well there’s an interesting question isn’t it?”
“Define ‘light bulb’…”
“How can you be sure it needs changing?”
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Question: Why is the solipsist unhappy?
Answer: Because no one will accept his arguments as valid.
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Did you hear about the guy who went to the solipsist convention?
Nobody showed up.
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Question: How do you get a philosopher off your porch?
Answer: Pay for the pizza.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a philosopher?
An offer you can’t understand.
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Descartes walks into his usual bar. The bartender walks over to him and asks, “Rene, the usual?” Descartes looks at him and replies, “I think not.” He immediately disappears.
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How many optimists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they’re convinced that the power will come back on soon.
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
Epicurus: For fun.
Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends on your frame of reference.
Zeno: To prove it could never reach the other side.
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A philosopher and a theologian are discussing the relative merits of their disciplines. The theologian says: “Philosophy is like a blind man in a pitch black basement looking for a black cat that isn’t there”
The philosopher replies: “Yes, but theology finds the cat.”
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Seen on a restroom wall: “God is dead: Nietzsche. Nietzsche is dead: God.”
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I passed my ethics exam. Of course I’ve cheated.
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What is Mind? No Matter.
What is Body? Never Mind.
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What’s the difference between a philosopher and an engineer?
About 50,000 a year.
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Did you hear about the Buddhist who spilled his coffee while driving to work? He had bad kar-mug.
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